Flying is Not my Cup of Tea

Ok, here I am! My first blog post. Why am I doing this? Crazy and amusing things happen to me frequently, and I get a great deal of joy sharing experiences with my peeps. But we’re all busy folks, so the person who gets to hear most about my days is my husband, Albert. I LOVE this man. But sometimes I can tell that he gets tired of my stories. I can be jabbering and working myself into TEARS of hysteria over things he just doesn’t find entertaining. “Ridiculous,” he often says. Not in a mean or dismissive way. He’s serious and practical. These are essential qualities in our relationship, since they are not exactly my strengths.

Now that I’m 51, I can be serious when it’s really important. But my humor wells up when I’m anxious or angry, which can make me seem a little insensitive or kind of insane. I’ve come to appreciate it as a healthy coping mechanism. It’s even healthier now that I’ve learned to control my face and mouth a little better. A very recent bout of anxiety happened on a flight from Philadelphia after visiting our second son at college. I was seated next to this very polite young man who was probably around 16. He had his laptop on his tray table and looked to be writing a paper for most of the 5-hour flight.

I do NOT sit still very well, and I was getting fidgety during the last hour of our flight. Last call for drinks! The young man asked for tea. Adorable. The attendant brought over a cup of hot water AND THE GUY PUT IT RIGHT ON HIS LAPTOP! Dude!!

I don’t know what kind of trauma happened to me in a past life, but the possibility of people knocking over cups FREAKS ME OUT. Anyone remember George W. Bush’s interview with Matt Lauer in 2010? After he started drinking his water, GWB placed his glass SO CLOSE to the edge of the table. I could no longer hear anything he said, because he was talking with his hands so much, and all I could think was HE’S GOING TO KNOCK OVER HIS WATER! My poor children. All their little lives, they were harassed about their cup placement. Even if they had lids. My nerves can’t take it! Whenever my kids put their cups close to the edges, I would tell them, “Don’t be George Bush.”

So this kid had his cup of hot water on his laptop, then the attendant came back with all the tea paraphernalia. The kid opened his tea bag and steeped his tea WITHOUT HOLDING HIS CUP. Then he ripped open sugar and two little tubs of half-and-half and carefully stirred the concoction with his wooden stick. IT WOULD NOT KILL YOU TO HOLD ONTO THAT CUP, KID. He was on the aisle seat, so someone could have knocked him at any moment, sent everything flying, and launched me into a stress-induced epileptic fit. I finally decided to completely turn my back to him. Albert was on my other side in the window seat listening to music. “I can’t stand it,” I moaned. He patted my arm like that was going to prevent complete destruction of $2,000 worth of electronics AND three hours of this kid’s homework.  It seemed to take him an hour to finish his tea. As if flying isn’t stressful enough.

So there’s the anxiety. Tah dah! Where’s the humor, you ask? I recognize that my Spillophobia is an irrational fear. So I laugh at myself. And I invite you to laugh along with me.