Won't Fu Be My Neighbor?

We have a New Fu Neighbor! My Father-in-Law moved into his new digs today. Once again, he’s about five minutes from our house. You see, when we lived in Southern California, he and my MFIL were also about that same distance from us. Then we moved a thousand miles away in 2004. Almost immediately, my in-laws began looking for senior housing in Oregon. I was terrified.

When they began visiting at Christmastime, I suggested bringing them to see the Zoo Lights. Strolling around outside at night up on that windy hill in December is a True Oregon Experience, especially for those who have lived in Southern California for fifty years. “Is it ALWAYS this cold here?” Yes, MFIL. Definitely. Most of the time, it’s EVEN COLDER here! You would NOT like it AT ALL.

Every year for about five years straight, my in-laws would come to Oregon and tour the local senior living communities. After a while, I started to relax thinking it was just not ever going to happen. They even put a down-payment on one place, but there was little more said about moving to Oregon over the next several years.

Then my MFIL passed away about two years ago. Over those same years, my FIL also started getting kinda shaky after he had a little stroke. Albert was taking off work on very short notice to travel to SoCal for emergencies. During the in-between-emergency times, Albert was travelling about once a month just to check on my FIL. It was taking a toll, and senior living communities were being *ahem* STRONGLY suggested. About a year ago, my FIL FINALLY agreed to move, and he wanted to be in Oregon near us and the grandkids. So Albert and I got investigating.

Ho-lee smokes! Who knew how uh-may-zing senior living communities are these days?! Beautiful accommodations, famous chefs, top-notch amenities and staff! Touring a lovely indoor pool in one place, we saw a few residents enjoying a glass of wine while soaking in the adjacent hot tub. IT WAS ELEVEN O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING!! I suddenly got excited about my FIL moving to town. He’s going to be living in style, BOI-I-I-I! If you can’t find me, I might be at his super swaggy bachelor pad soaking in the hot tub or hanging out at the rooftop wine bar. Not. Even. Joking.

Albert was so overwhelmed with all the ingredients required to relocate a parent who’s been living in the same place for FIFTY YEARS. On top of all the logistics, my FIL is probably one of the most argumentative, STUBBORN people I’ve ever met. And I mean that in the most charming way. He’s quite a character. And he can’t hear for shit, so it can get puh-ritty whacky when he’s around with just a ton of nonsense yelling. MEAT CROSS?? YOUR CHEEKS ARE LIKE SUNSHINE! Ummmm.....Exsqueeze me? Baking powder??

My dog would get super nervous every time Albert talked to my FIL on the phone, because there was SO MUCH YELLING. Buddy would stare at me with concern or scratch at the door to take refuge in the backyard until the conversation was over. Look at this poor, stressed out little face.

Albert has been working diligently on this very big job of relocating a parent. It has been really tough on him both physically and emotionally. A while back, I offered to help furnish the new place just to take that task off his hands. Except I do not really know how to do that. I cannot be within about 100 feet of a Home Goods store without breaking out in hives. Thank goodness, my smart and talented BEAUTIFUL ANGEL friend SAVED MY LIFE! Allie is a designer with impeccable taste. She took the kids and me shopping for furniture one day. ONE DAY was all it took and *POOF* like magic she had this place scoped out and put together! She was so graceful with this overwhelming task that threatened to knock me out cold. It was a joy to watch her work! Here’s an actual video of me in any store:

After eight long months, move in day was scheduled for Thursday, November 21! But as usual, construction snafus arose and pushed that date back. However, Allie and I donned some construction vests and sneaked in to get some things in place.

*Shhhh* It only took about one hour before we were discovered and summarily kicked out. We are terrible criminals in the most adorable sense.

Allie had arranged all deliveries and set ups, and the staff at The Springs were super helpful and accommodating, receiving all the furniture and making sure things were placed as planned. I pulled up my car full of stuff and was swarmed by about a dozen helpers who unloaded the car and carried it all to the apartment! Someone was always right there to take care of everything I needed. Seriously, I felt like Oprah.

Moving day was rescheduled four days down the road for Monday, November 25. Albert was on his way to the airport to travel to SoCal to pick up his dad when we got the email that there would be another delay! Albert’s dad would really be most comfortable waiting at his home in SoCal for construction to be completed, but Thanksgiving weekend was upon us. Changing plans to spend Thanksgiving in SoCal at this point would be a nightmare. A VERY EXPENSIVE nightmare!

Fortunately, things fell into place. Albert’s dad decided to come up early, and The Springs treated him to a room at the Residence Inn. He could have stayed at our house, but we don’t have bedrooms on the main floor, and stairs present a complication. Plus, about ten other future residents were staying at the Residence Inn as well, so my FIL was very happy to be there. As a matter of fact, we couldn’t even get a hold of him for the first couple of days until late in the evening! He had been hanging out in the lobby, eating free breakfast, reading his free newspaper, and enjoying free happy hour drinks and appetizers with his new friends.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, we had the opportunity to visit his new place with the kids who were home from college. My FIL walked all around his new place and said, “This is nice.”

Audrey whipped her head around and gave me a stunned look. We all had our mouths open! The biggest compliment we usually hear from my FIL is, “It’s fine,” or “It’s OK.” RARELY is anyone graced with a legit approval.

It took a while for him to inspect the bathroom. After he emerged, he proudly announced, “I REALLY used the bathroom.” Officially christened. It really does look great. Just hold your breath when you look at the bathroom.

In the end, we moved him in this evening about ten days later than planned. After all my encounters with the staff, I am confident that he’ll be treated like a rock star. He can order his cheeseburger….with no cheese….and all the Oprah Helpers will happily oblige. Over Thanksgiving weekend, my FIL informed us, “My tummy is getting rounder, but my butt is disappearing.” I hope he will spend some time at the gym with their state-of-the-art equipment and fancy training staff.

Here’s a picture of Albert and my FIL at dinner this evening. They ate at the pub. “This is where the bar brawls will happen,” my FIL explained to me. Mm-kay. This elderly California transplant is already doing his part in Keeping Portland Weird.

As always, THANK YOU FOR READING!
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