Boot Camp

 

I just don’t know what to think this week about social media posts from a few of my friends. One of these folks is from Texas and is the sister of a childhood friend. She thinks I’m funny and we share a love of animals. She posts great puppy videos. But this past week, I saw this.

What am I supposed to do with that?? I don’t quite know her well enough to venture a response, but this was really disturbing to me, and I’m not sure why. I barely know her. I have never actually spoken to her. I think it’s because I’m conflicted. How can this puppy-loving sister-of-a-friend who publicly declares her love for Jesus on the daily believe that mask mandates are a plot to make us….what? Wear hijabs? Be Muslim? Perfect our Smokey Eye?

I decided to snooze her for 30 days. Then I saw this post from another friend. He’s a fellow our family does business with regularly, so we’re also not that tight, but I like the guy. He’s kind and funny and has led an interesting life. So I was taken aback when I saw his post with this caption: “Great food. Plus he’s a Trump supporter, made the food taste even better!”

This man is married to a woman who fled from Guatemala with her young son. We spoke briefly about the current Hot Mess of American Immigration last year, and he lectured me about how immigrants need to “follow the rules.” Yes, rules are definitely important, but I asked him whether he realized that his wife and son would have been separated at the Border these days. According to The Rules. I don’t know whether he just wanted to get me off his back, but he hopped off his soap box and said, “I didn’t know about that.” We let that conversation drop for the time being.

This past week, I saw a post from a much closer friend that made me feel like someone put my brain in a blender.

I just can’t. A very dear friend came down with a COVID19 infection, and that is nothing to joke about. A hundred and sixty THOUSAND people have died JUST in the US. The argument is that many of those were not strictly COVID related. But even if just half of those were from this virus, that is a lot of dead Americans. So for my sweet, beautiful, funny, creative friend to post something like this blew my mind in the most distressing way. So now what??

I heard a podcast this week in which the host shared his secret for infinite patience and grace for people: He imagines every annoying person with a dog’s face. Because he never, ever gets mad at a dog.

It’s easy to “unfriend” or avoid those you don’t have strong relationships with, but I’m challenging myself to expand my perspectives, maintain connections, and try to understand. I genuinely like these people, and maybe I’m missing something.

There’s a lot of talk about embracing racial and gender diversity these days, and this is another way of embracing diversity of ideas and thoughts. I’m super conflict averse, and I can’t tolerate much anger and yelling, so I’ve ordered a book called, “Compassionate Warrior Boot Camp.” This book is specifically for “White Allies,” which technically disqualifies me, but I am looking forward to tips on how to approach difficult, emotion-fueled conversations.

It’s my hope that I can bridge a tiny gap in our current social crevasse rather than cutting off and losing people I care about. I like the idea of Boot Camp, where we all go through a really difficult challenge by working together and helping each other succeed. Stronger Together! Who knows if it will work? I’m willing to give it a try.

Thank you for reading, my friends!