Chinese Food for Thought

 

Hey, you guys. Can I just talk to you a little bit about how strange Chinese people can be? I grew up in Southern California where there are a lot more Asians. Up here in Oregon, I have met several people who have never had dim sum.

One person admitted that he had never actually even spoken to a Chinese person before meeting me. That blows my mind since I have been speaking to Chinese people my whole life. I hope he wasn’t disappointed since I don’t consider myself exactly representative of the country or culture, but whatevs. I guess it was a good start. Baby steps, man.

Audrey was home for the weekend and wanted some good Chinese food, so we ordered from one of our favorite restaurants, Taste of Sichuan. Their spicy noodles will make you sweat and cry for the whole dinner hour, and the loads of fresh garlic will definitely have you farting yourself awake at least twice after you go to bed that night. SO GOOD.

We practically always order the same things every time: fried green beans, black bean fish, pallets of dumplings, sticky seafood noodles, onion pancakes, and eggplant with garlic sauce. Taste of Sichuan also has lots of wacky things on their menu like Pig Ears in Chili Oil, Dry Cooked Frog (as opposed to Wet Cooked Frog—yuck!), and Sour & Spicy Bean Jelly (not to be confused with Jelly Bean).

I have eaten frog before. I assume it was Wet Cooked, since I remember gravy. My mom offered it to me at a restaurant when I was a little kid.

Me: What is it?

Mom: Just eat it.

Me: What is it?

Mom: It’s good. Just try it.

Mom’s chopsticks were poised near my lips, so I opened my mouth and ate it.

Me: What is it?

Mom: Do you like it?

Me: What is it?

Mom: Tell me if you like it first.

Me: It’s ok. What is it?

Mom: It’s qingwa tui.

Me:

Dad: It’s frog legs.

Never wonder again why I have issues, my friends. Maybe you don’t think frog legs or pig ears or bean jelly is so weird. I think it’s weird that people go all crazy over a McRib. But wait’ll you see what Chinese McDonald's has cooked up now!

That is a Spam and Oreo burger. What the WHAT? Was something lost in translation when interpreting this recipe? Has everyone in China lost their sense of taste because of COVID??

Two extra-thick slices of Spam topped with crushed Oreos and garnished with smear of mayonnaise. It has been described as “tender and juicy, full of meatiness with a hit of sweet aftertaste that amounts to an unimaginable double surprise.”

Not everyone thought it was tasty though. Another reviewer said it was outright unpleasant: “It was sour and sweet and savory. I could taste the flavors of carsickness.”

It’s probably not worse than those killer noodles from Shanghai. I suppose you could wash it all down with a lettuce smoothie to get the taste out of your mouth.

Try it if it makes you happy! Thanks for reading!