Opting Out

 

Theo Chocolate is a company based out of Seattle, Washington. Their chocolates are fair-trade, organic, made from scratch and DEE-lish! Their name is derived from “theobromine” which is a compound that is related to caffeine and is the principal alkaloid in cacao as well as tea. When the kids were really little, our family toured their chocolate factory where FREE SAMPLES were offered.

This past week, I got an email from Theo Chocolate which offered to let me “Opt Out of Mother’s Day.”

YES, PLEASE!

To say that I don’t like Mother’s Day would be an understatement. I dread the constant advertisements and reminders that begin after Tax Day. And then the occasion drags on for another week with folks asking me how was my Mother’s Day? And what did my family do to make it special for me? And what presents did I get?

I’ve written in the past about some of the uncomfortable feelings that come up for me around Mother’s Day, too. It’s hard for me to reflect on being a mom without considering some of the really big mistakes I’ve made that hurt my kids. I know, I know. I didn’t know any better at the time, so how could I have done any better? I really have been trying to give myself grace.

I recently heard a great perspective on regret from Glennon Doyle and her sister, Amanda. Regret is a sign that I know better now, meaning that I’m growing and learning. I would never experience regret if my awareness never expanded. So that’s mildly reassuring. But it’s still painful.

So it was really interesting this year when several companies asked whether I would like to opt out of their Mother’s Day promotional emails.

These companies “understand that Mother’s Day is a sensitive time” or “can be a difficult day for some.” Huh. I suppose that’s considerate, but I wonder what brought this wokeness on? And who are they aiming these emails at? Folks who lost their moms? Or folks who have awful moms? Or folks who want to be moms but can’t? Gosh, now that I’m thinking of it, the list of sadness goes on and on.

At first I thought this was a considerate offer, but one company told the truth. They said, “Don’t worry—you’ll still receive the same content, just without Mother’s Day messaging.” So this wasn’t thoughtfulness but something else. Why wouldn't they just remove Mother’s Day messaging for everyone altogether? Because they want to use Mother’s Day to sell us shit. UNLESS we don’t LIKE Mother’s Day, in which case they will NOT use Mother’s Day to sell us shit.

Mother’s Day is just too much pressure for me. It’s a big burden for my kids to appreciate me on a specific day. What if I’m a total asshole that day?

It’s also a lot of strain on me NOT to be an asshole on that certain day. I have my days, friends! But those days pass and fade. However, if I pitch a fit on a Mother’s Day, errybody gonna remember that forever. Like if Will Smith had slapped Chris Rock on a different, less high profile night and place? It’s too unpredictable and dangerous.

Lots of people like Mother’s Day, and I respect that. But I'm offering my family Mother's Day Amnesty once again and opting out. I hope you keep it together on May 8th, Friends!

Thanks for reading!