REH-so-lution Time, Come On!

 

I have only ever been successful meditating in the mornings before anyone else is awake. Once Fus start getting out of bed, my focus becomes tenuous at best. Being interrupted while deep in concentration elicits a physical response in me that feels like my core is being violently yanked out of my body. This is also why I can't read when my family is around. 

I've tried meditating in the evenings before bed, but that is consistently frustrating because I keep nodding off. A 20-minute meditation session feels like an hour and is neither relaxing nor enlightening. One a positive note, I am an excellent sleeper.

My meditation practice really benefits when my gym closes down, opening up a couple of hours consistently each morning. Thanks, COVID. A meditation teacher named Roger Gabriel is presenting a series called "Setting Your Vision for 2021." I am not wild about New Year's Resolutions and rarely make them. You know by now that I don't abide by many of society's silly rules, calendars being one of them. Promising lofty changes just because it's popular is setting yourself up for failure. I prefer to make resolutions on my own timeline. NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT DAY THE YEAR STARTS!

But Roger Gabriel presented a set of "resolutions" that could really be adopted on any day of the year, and I really liked them. I could set any of these aspirations for myself every morning of every day. Here's one I particularly liked:

"We all have triggers--people and things that set us off emotionally. Certain things always cause discomfort. Some things always bring happiness. Resolution: I will consciously maximize people and things that uplift me and minimize those that diminish me."

This small statement communicates so much!

• "We all have triggers." ALL of us. We might share some triggers, like picking up dog poop. DIMINISHING! Or perhaps something that makes me cry and sends me straight to bed might be your favorite activity, like going to the mall. Either way, WE'RE NOT ALONE in the understanding of how GREAT some things can be AND how YUCKY other things can feel.
  
  
• The first step is to PAY ATTENTION and notice the people and things that set us off emotionally. Only after these triggers are acknowledged do we have the ability to make any changes to minimize or maximize them.
  
  
• The goal is balance. There's no avoiding people and things that drain us, but we CAN minimize these diminishing experiences while maximizing those that uplift us. WE HAVE CHOICES.

It's always better to have control of your choices rather than ceding that power to another. There is a man from Shanghai named Chen who was so reluctant to take charge of his choices that he concocted a roundabout approach to minimize something that was apparently diminishing him.

One afternoon, Chen walked into a dance studio and stole a Bluetooth speaker worth 17,000 renmenbi, which is about $278. He was quickly apprehended by the Shanghai Police.

When questioned by the police, Chen told them that he was scheduled to get married in three days. "My girlfriend wants to marry me, but I don't want to marry her. I knew I would be caught." He asked not to be let off the hook hoping that his girlfriend would learn about his arrest and refuse to marry a thief.

Chen had cold feet for some time and wanted to walk away from his girlfriend, but he was "so angry" that he decided to get himself arrested to avoid talking to her.

OK, so dude has some issues and would benefit from getting in touch with some self-worth, setting some boundaries, and learning to state his needs without getting the police involved. To Chen's credit, he knew that his scheme would not cost the owner of the dance studio too much money and would also achieve his goal. So thoughtful.

For 2021, I hope that you will maximize people and things that uplift you and minimize those that diminish you. Preferably without getting tossed in the slammer.

Happy New Year, my friends! DON'T BE A ROBBER.

Thank you for reading!