You're Gonna Miss Me By My Taco

It is 99.9% marvelous having my kids home for summer break.  I love seeing their beautiful, sweet faces and petting their little heads whenever I walk by. They are a joy to share real conversations with at this age. I am also loving the trivial, casual banter of daily living now that it is not so incessant that I cannot process a single thought without interruption.

Right now, my kids are digging on 80’s music, THE BEST MUSIC OF ALL TIME. This past week, we reminisced about the little kid music like “Bear in the Big Blue House” and “Wee Sing” that we listened to over. And over. AND OVER. For so many years.

It was a relief when I could introduce them to *ahem* MY kind of Oldies from the 60’s, like “Wooly Bully” and “Wild Thing.” These days “Oldies” are from the 80’s, WHICH MAKES NO SENSE, because THAT is the time I was in high school. And if 80’s music “Oldies,” what is 60’s music? Antiquies? Ancienties? ABORIGINES?? You can’t call 80’s music “Oldies.” Bye.

Then came teeny-bopper music from Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Adorbz. Recently, I have not had the stomach for most of the nonsense they listen to. Also….GET OFF MY LAWN!! But there was a sweet spot of time when listened to and enjoyed the same popular music.

Bruno Mars’s Grenade (chorus around 0.35) is catchy….and disturbing. This guy would do anything (ANYTHING!) for his girl. He’s willing to catch a grenade and jump in front of a train for her? Dude, you’re trying TOO HARD. Especially considering that she smiled at you then ripped the brakes out of your car. This is not healthy love. Both of you, take a sabbatical from dating. Learn some self-respect and self-love first.

Love is about acceptance which Usher describes so poetically in I Don’t Mind. “Shawty, I don’t mind if you dance on a pole. That don’t make you a ‘ho.” I took a pole dancing lesson once at my sister’s bachelorette party.

I’ll just give you a minute for that to sink in.

AND…my sister-in-law gave me a lap dance.

OK, I’ll wait.

Yeah, just take a breath and be glad you are not my brother receiving this news.

Who knew that all the time I spent with my kids on the playground was helping me develop mad pole dancing skillz?? I also learned that wrapping your leg around a pole and pirouetting gives you nasty bruises on your calves that don’t go away for weeks. Pole dancing is HARD WORK, so I can totally understand why Usher is proud that his girl can “get that money, money, money.”

This deep appreciation and understanding in a relationship is truly a treasure which sets aside the burden of explaining yourself all the time. It is REALLY validating when even your BOOTY doesn’t need explaining. In the video of Talk Dirty to Me, Jason Derulo befittingly demonstrates how genuinely he understands his girl’s booty around 1:15. This song is SO DIRTY!! I can hardly believe it was allowed on the radio when George Michael *swoon* caused such a scandal when all he wanted was your sex!  

Albert and I started dating when I was a teenager, and we’ve learned that this deep understanding stems from shared goals and experiences. The good times are wonderful, but the really hard times have challenged us to grow, learn, and rely on each other.  My kids used to sing Darius Rucker’s Live to Learn. “You gotta live and learn. You gotta crash and burn.” But instead of “Grandpa Campbell,” they used to sing “Grandpa Camel.”  And now, so will you.

So as not to leave out grandmas, Ke$ha’s Tick Tock mentions the PoPo shutting down their party. In Cantonese, Popo means “grandma.” My kids call my mom “Popo.” My dad is a dentist, so if they ever tried brushing their teeth with a bottle of Jack, Popo would DEFINITELY shut them down (Video around 1:40).

I am cherishing every loud, chaotic moment this summer. My house is a huge mess, but I would NOT call it a “disaster.”  When we first moved to Oregon, we were pinched on money, so it took years before we furnished and decorated our new home. When a mom and her son came over for a playdate, I apologized for the condition of my home as is customary in hoity-toity communities like ours.

“Sorry, my house is a disaster.”

The mom teared up and looked SO SAD. “Your home looks SO beautiful to me.”

You see, her family had just moved from New Orleans to live with her sister because HER HOME WAS DESTROYED IN HURRICANE KATRINA. Gott Damm. I haven’t used that expression again since that time in 2005.

My temporarily Full House will transform to an Empty Nest soon enough. I hope my kids are taking time to treasure our time together, too, even though parents CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING and DON’T KNOW ANY FUNNY JOKES. It won’t be long before you miss me by my taco, you turkey (Video around 2:00).

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