I Love ToFU

Vegeta is a character from the Japanese anime series Dragon Ball Z. I like his name. A little-known secret is that labor room nurses withhold babies from new moms until you’ve practiced saying, “Eat your veggies,” a hundred times.

Vegeta is a proud warrior prince whose vanity constantly compels him to remind others of his status. I’m quite certain that his name is derived from “Vegan,” which explains his urge to incessantly announce his status.

How do you spot a vegan? Here are several tell-tale indications:

• They'll tell you.
• Their lunch will consist of a full pineapple, 6 melons, 25 bananas, and a coconut tree.
• If someone in the company of a vegan eats meat, they'll hurl abuse at them until they stop.

I’m going to start calling these folks Vexatious Vegans. V-Vegans. Double-Vegans. Call them what you want, but we can all call them ANNOYING! Last summer, I wrote about Stealth Vegans, those who practice veganism without talking about it all the damned time. They exist in the wild and avoid detection by blending into their environment and not attacking people.

These gentle souls practice what they don’t preach. And many have influenced my eating habits over time. When you spend time with people you love, you start sharing ideas, and sometimes those little seeds blossom unexpectedly into something beautiful.

I grew up eating meat. LOTS of it! My dad frequently barbecued platters full of rib-eyes. When I was nursing Chris, I epically ate TWO of my mom’s acclaimed pork chops along with FOUR bowls of rice and savory gravy. Albert and I were looking out onto Monterey Bay at the Tickle Pink Inn when he proposed to me over a rack of New Zealand lamb. I was completely comfortable with animals being raised humanely for the purpose of consumption.

And then the Stealth Vegans sidled in. It started when I was in college and learned about gavage and the production of foie gras. “Ugh. Grody to the max! I’m never eating foie gras again!” exclaimed my horrified 18-year-old self who had never eaten foie gras ever. As teenagers long for scandal and outrage, I also learned about veal and shark fin. These were two rare dishes that were easy to forego. Well, KIND OF. YOU try saying no to a bowl of shark fin soup when you’re surrounded by 30 family members all telling you how it promotes healthy qi and beautiful skin. PLUS it’s expensive and grandma wants to see you EAT IT.

The next stage of evolution happened when Chris was obese. My second son has always been a big, healthy boy. But when he was eight, his pediatrician told me that he was “too heavy,” so we met with a dietitian for guidance. At the same time, I started reading about nutrition and listening to the Nutrition Diva podcast. A million little changes over 10+ years have really turned us Fus around.

At first I was inspired to learn that vegetarians are thinner and look younger. WHERE DO I SIGN UP? Please don’t judge me by my shallowness. You gotta start somewhere.

I jumped on board with Meatless Mondays. Except we did Meatless Wednesdays or Thursdays, because…..surprise! I’m ALWAYS RUNNING LATE. Albert was my toughest sell, always commenting about my new vegetarian attempts, “This is pretty good. But it would taste better with some bacon or ground beef.” Worst brat. (That’s meatless bratwurst.)

Little by little, my vegetarian cooking skills improved while my family’s taste buds evolved. After learning about factory farmed beef/chicken and gestation cages for pigs, I became more mindful of where I purchased my family’s meat and also amended my recipes to use less of it. Pretty soon we were all singing the “I Like Vegetables” song. “The party don’t start till I show up with my carrot!”

We watched “Supersize Me,” which introduced us to the concepts of factory farming and turned us off fast food (POO BURGERS!) for life. “Cowspiracy” enlightened us to environmental impacts of consuming beef. As the seeds of animal compassion grew, I found that I could no longer eat pork without feeling sad. And food doesn’t taste as good when you’re sad. So I would opt for something delicious without the side of sadness. I completely honor others’ choices to eat meat; it is unrelated to my choice to mostly abstain.

Lamb hit me like a brick. I had been told that lamb is the most humane of meats because the little babes only live for six to eight weeks, and they get to stay with their moms, so they suffer less in life. But after becoming a mother, I started to think about the lamb's moms, and it gave me a yucky feeling. And then came our little Ollie. He legit looks like a little lamb. And while I’ve dressed him up as a taco, an angry banana, and a cupcake, I would never eat him. Taco ‘bout cute.

To be clear, I don’t call myself a vegetarian or a vegan. I’m as comfortable eating animal products as I’ve ever been. But just as was comfortable eating tons of animal products 20 years ago, I’m comfortable consuming just a little bit of animal products now. I consider my choices carefully, paying attention to the taste as well as how my mind feels as I eat. No label necessary.

I thoroughly enjoy a slice of bacon from Sweedeedee, a piping hot bowl of oxtail soup on cold days, and a plate of cheese and crackers with my wine. I used to believe that there would be no substitute for ice cream, but LIKE MAGIC Salt & Straw recently created some delicious and impressive offerings for Vejanuary. (Since certain components of female anatomy are associated with milk, I guess Salt & Straw assigned a different component to not-milk….you know, for Vejanuary.)

I feel totally fine getting my eggs from any place that is Certified Humane. When the kids were living at home, I got the five dozen eggs we ate each week from my friend, Judi. Her chickens and I have met. I have petted their soft feathers, and they have nibbled on my fingers. I feel confident that they are very happy to make eggs for us. Conscience = clear.

Body and mind work together to create harmony. Sometimes when you’re stressed out, you can’t feel it in your mind, but you get unexplained stomachaches. And sometimes when there’s something going on in your body, it’s only detectable in your mind, like when you KNOW you’re pregnant even though the test was negative. (True story, Bro.)

It makes me really happy that my kids are open to reducing their meat consumption. They send me pictures of their delicious meatless meals because they know it makes me smile to see them eating well and enjoying their food. Even Albert-the-Stubborn proudly reports to me that he chose a vegetarian meal and enjoyed it! That, my friends, is progress!

Last summer, Chris and I watched a movie called “Game Changers.” It was interesting and informative without the shame that so often accompanies nutrition education. If you’ve watched it, I’d love to know what you thought of it!

As always, thank you for reading! You can subscribe here to have new blog posts delivered right to your email inbox.