Ohm, Eem

Nothing interesting happened to me this week. I didn’t meet a clown. I wasn’t published in any more magazines. I wasn’t even close to being eaten by a shark.

Boring.

And I kind of love it! I learned things in school. I did good work at my job. I took time to meditate with my dogs. (This is why they are so mellow, you see.) I went out for pizza and beer with Albert. Audrey came home for a short weekend, and we got to spend time with her.

OH! We celebrated a big birthday. Audrey’s boyfriend, Jake, turned 21, and we went to a fancy new restaurant with his family. It was a new Thai Fusion restaurant called Eem. We arrived before it opened, and we still waited an hour before being seated!

PORTLAND, amiright?!?!

The company was good and the food was delicious. We sampled curious cocktails made with bee pollen, spirulina, Thai pickles, rhubarb, and even…..blessings. Not even joking. It was fun, but not really interesting. Like, nobody got stabbed with a metal straw or anything. We just had a lovely time.

I used to have a really hard time with quiet and inactivity, but I’ve been practicing stillness, and I’m getting a tiny bit better at it. At least I’m learning how to appreciate it more. But this lack of interesting activity also means that you get to hear about Albert’s trip to Costco with his dad!

My FIL wanted snacks and beer. This is super amusing, because I have known him since I was a little kid and had never seen him drink a beer before moving to Oregon. Albert had never EVER seen his dad go to happy hour. But since moving to his fancy independent living community, my FIL rushes down regularly at 4pm before the Little Smokies are all gone. EIGHTY-EIGHT years and this man is suddenly a regular at Fancho’s Pub.

As a newly minted potomaniac, my FIL decided he wanted to get a case of beer to have in his apartment and asked Albert for recommendations. But Albert didn’t waste a single breath discussing various types of beer or recommending local microbrews. He knows better.

Asking for a recommendation is my FIL’s secret code for “What’s the cheapest?” Later that afternoon, Albert helped him tote home a $20 case of Kirkland IPA. Albert and I rarely drink India Pale Ales. Mostly I think they taste like bubbly grapefruit juice.

But Albert’s dad apparently thought they were OK. He called this evening and was very chatty! After jabbering for a few minutes, he said, “I had two of those beers. They said that they were only 5% but I think they might be higher.”

“And, hey! After I drank the first one, my LEG started TWITCHING! I was thinking that maybe the water in India isn’t filtered that well, and I got worried. But then it stopped later on.”

Remember? Because he picked an India Pale Ale.

The Kirkland brand. Maybe brewed with water from the Ganges. You never know.

I know that this nonsense wasn’t because he was drinking. He regularly spews bundles of absurdity. Because he is so passionately opinionated and deadpan serious, it is extra amusing when he tells us NO! He will NOT have a bite of our pizza with salami because cured meat is bad for your health!

Relieved to have escaped our attempted poisoning, he takes a big bite of his club sandwich……with ham and bacon. And washes it down with a swig of beer. A porter at the restaurant this time.

I hope you’re not disappointed that my week was uneventful. My FIL didn’t throw a kegger and wasn’t harmed by malicious prosciutto or irresponsible Indian beer-makers. I’m optimistic that next week will bring more adventures.

Until then, THANK YOU for reading! You can subscribe here to get new posts delivered right to your email inbox.