Better Homes & Gardens

Dude. I was recently QUOTED in Better Homes & Gardens.

WHAT. THE. HECK.

Of all the people in my circle of friends and family who are talented interior designers, marvelous culinarians, gifted gardeners, practically professional party-throwers, or even exceptionally proficient housekeepers, I am arguable THEEEE MOST mediocre at both Homes AND Gardens.

CALL ME if you’re looking for cheats on how to make dinner for five with smallest number of ingredients and shortest amount of time. No guarantees that your family will eat it and DEFINTELY no promises that they’ll enjoy it. But they probably won’t starve to death, and that’s a win in my book, friends!

Interior design? I value function over form every time. I prepare a passable meal, but I suspect that those who find cooking “relaxing” or “enjoyable” are just not all there. And don’t even get me started on gardening. The bugs! The dirt! But most of all the FAILURE. No plant is safe under my watch, and it’s NOT for lack of trying. Most of my body is Chinese, but my thumb? Is black.

Not that I am ashamed or disappointed. We each have our own gifts! Honestly, what benefit would any of those gifts be without an enthusiastic fan appreciating and being amazed at all the wonderful food, décor, flowers, and neatness? Someone has got to be in charge of all the enjoying and consuming and being dazzled. I’m a Master Encourager!

The article….in Better Homes & Gardens….that I was QUOTED IN….(in case you forgot)….was about the Enneagram, which I learned about a few years ago when I attended a workshop for work. I had never heard of the Enneagram before, but it changed my life.

The Enneagram is an ancient wisdom which describes personalities, helping me understand myself AND others. And with this deeper understanding, the Enneagram also helped me interpret relationships and gave me tools to be more successful in my interactions with others.

Typical for a Type 7, I was fired up after this workshop. I read books and binged podcasts. I couldn’t get enough! My sister is kind of a bigshot in Human Resources, so she knows all about personality tests. As she usually does when I am over-excited, she kind of petted my head as I breathlessly jabbered to her with this new information. She thinks I’m a little out there sometimes, but she loves me and never makes fun of me. (I have reason to believe that she is a highly-evolved Type 2. Maybe Macho Man Randy Savage is, too.) 

This article was written by an old family friend who is a freelance journalist. She is friends with my sister, so I knew her when she was a cute, little girl. When she was in college, she stayed with Albert and me for a few days to have her wisdom teeth taken out at the dental school. Here’s my moment of fame:

If you read the article, I am quoted alongside many legit, well-respected Enneagram experts. They work at the Enneagram Institute and have published books on the subject. And then there’s me. No qualification, no description. Just a quote from a random person. It’s almost as impressive and valid as a quote from Jovani Walker.

Know who that is?

IT’S NOBODY! I just created that name from a random name generator!

It is exciting nonetheless. Better Homes & Gardens is a BFD. Albert suggested I add it to my resume. So give me a ring if you hear of any job openings for easily-distracted women who are passionate about the Enneagram and for dressing up small dogs in ridiculous outfits!

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