The Seven Two Waffle Mystery

Dull conversations--I overhear a lot of them. Well, I DID until a few months ago. Stupid COVID. I’m not talking about conversations on math or fashion…which are DEFINITELY boring…but I recognize that these topics are riveting to some, just not to me. I’m talking about lengthy conversations about laundry or salad,which is apparently enthralling to certain clandestine gas-passers.

Have you ever heard two dull people talking and one of them says, “Oh my gosh, you are hill-AIR-ious!” and it makes you just go HUH. Did that person REALLY think that comment was hilarious? Is it really funny to some people that their friend took a wrong turn and got lost on the way to Sur la Table? To me, that isn’t funny at all, but I wonder whether this is funny to some other people. Hilarious even.

I’m really not judging. Laughing is GREAT and everyone should do as much of that as possible. If a mundane, humdrum remark strikes you as hilarious, I suppose *I* am the loser. Who’s laughing now, eh?

My favorite funny people are the ones who don’t try hard. Some don’t consider themselves funny at all. My father-in-law is a consistent, unwitting source of entertainment at our house. He is very hard of hearing, and the amusement he provides is usually loud enough to make our dog very nervous. He has lived in the United States for over 50 years, so his English is excellent, but as he gets older, some funny Chinglish expressions have started popping up.

Audrey celebrated her 20th birthday this past weekend.

FIL: Welcome to adult hope!

Audrey: What?

FIL: You are officially an adult now!

Adulthood is what he was referring to.

My FIL has always been one of the most….ummm….frugal people I’ve known. What did the bird say when he flew over my FIL?

His senior living community has a salon, but he doesn’t like spending the money to get his hair cut, so Albert had been doing it for him. But since quarantine, visitors have not been allowed in his building, and we haven’t had him over to our house.

Out of an abundance of caution.

So we can flatten the curve!

During these unprecedented, uncertain times.

Welcome to The New Normal!

Can you believe this craziness?

PEOPLE. Think of better words, please.

We decided to have him over for Father’s Day last month. Over the phone, he asked Albert, “When I am there, can you mow my hair?”

And now that it’s getting warmer in Oregon, my FIL asked for some “short-sleeved pants.”

But the mystery began when he also asked for waffles from Costco.

FIL: I want some short-sleeved pants from Costco.

Albert: OK. Anything else?

FIL: Some waffles. Seven Two Waffles.

Albert: What are Seven Two Waffles?

FIL: Just the regular kind. Seven Two. They are in a yellow box.

Albert: The Eggo waffles?
FIL: Yes, Seven Two.

Now THAT is hilarious. I hope you all find some laughter in your week, friends! Thank you for reading!